The Law Firm of Yolanda V. Torres, APLC

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Phone: 657-210-0691

When you can't see the light at the end of your divorce

Divorce is seldom easy, but many couples find that the pain and betrayal of a divorce eventually fades away, and the former partners can tolerate one another and even remain friends. However, you may expect this will not be the case with your divorce.

Perhaps you are already experiencing venom from your spouse, and divorce proceedings are already dragging on longer than you anticipated. By now, you certainly wanted to be moving on and settling into your new life, but your spouse is making it impossible.

The toxic divorce

While most divorces begin with high tension that soon exhausts itself, high-conflict divorces follow the opposite course by escalating in tension. Often, it is one spouse who perpetrates the difficulties, and if your spouse is doing this to you, you may feel frustrated and angry. You may even be afraid, and with good reason. Toxic divorces are not without their dangers, especially if a spouse is willing to carry plans for revenge to the limit. Some ways in which a spouse may turn a divorce toxic include:

  • Stalking you
  • Harassing or threatening you
  • Damaging your property
  • Attempting to convince your children to turn against you
  • Refusing to pay child support or abide by court-ordered custody schedules
  • Attempting to ruin your reputation with your employer, family or friends
  • Hiding marital assets from you

Your fair share of marital assets is likely what will get you through the early years after your divorce, so you certainly want to ensure every asset is accounted for, fairly valued and appropriately distributed. To this end, you may seek the help of trustees to oversee this process rather than relying on your spouse to bring about a just division of property.

You are not alone

For your protection, you may look for an advocate in an attorney as well as in a judge. Divorce advocates recommend requesting a court appointed judge whose familiarity with your situation will allow for appropriate rulings. A California judge will also intervene if your spouse continues to escalate the level of toxicity in the proceedings.

Because a toxic divorce can drag on much longer and be more exhausting than the average divorce, experts advise those going through such an ordeal to take good care of themselves. This involves some form of physical, mental or spiritual rejuvenation. Having other people in your life may also help sustain you during the difficult months. These trusted friends and professionals can provide a sympathetic ear and a strong support system to protect and defend you when you need it most.

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Yolanda V. Torres

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The Law Firm of Yolanda V. Torres, APLC
601 N. Parkcenter Drive
Santa Ana, CA 92705
Phone: (657) 210-0691 
Fax: (714) 242-7416
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The Law Firm of Yolanda V. Torres, APLC
7755 Center Avenue
Suite 1100
Huntington Beach, CA 92647
Phone: (657) 210-0691 
Fax: (714) 242-7416
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